so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Randomize
