discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize