is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
