Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
