hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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