plz talk dirty to me
I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
