We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
