Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
