You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Randomize
