How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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