Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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