Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so my 6 year old came home from school and asked me if he was a bastard cause the kids at school called him one, i told him to call them a clit. those parents will hate me
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
