She is in my trunk
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize