PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
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