anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
