I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Randomize
