I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I need a beard to bite.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
Randomize
