Sponge bath it is.
so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Randomize
