She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
