Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
