I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
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