We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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