I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
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