i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
