dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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