Don't you send me to vm
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Randomize
