Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Randomize
