Jerry, you need to find god
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
