Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
