I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
