this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
