I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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