Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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