the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Randomize