I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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