Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
