omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Randomize
