her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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