it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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