she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
I would fuck him just for his dog
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