Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
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