we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Randomize
