Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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