He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
