And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
Randomize
