he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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