We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Randomize
