I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
this is an emotional support booty call
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Randomize
