We won't sleep together?
I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Randomize
