just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Randomize
