the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Randomize
