Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Randomize
