that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
