you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Gay?
German.
Pity.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
