now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
