He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize