he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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