Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize
