pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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