Having a random hookup so left but love u
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
