I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Randomize