I'd wear matching sweaters with you
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize