What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
