Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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