I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
