Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
