So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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