I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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