In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Randomize
